3 Helpful Wedding Planning Mindsets
“Falling in love was the easy part; planning a wedding, though? Yikes!” is something I am sure you and your partner have thought countless times throughout your engagement and wedding planning process. At first glance, this may seem a tad harsh. That being said, there is some truth to this. A wedding is probably the largest party you’ll throw in your lifetime, which is totally not a big deal or anything. Although an exciting time, it’s important to be aware of the expectations, pressures, and compromises that will inevitably come up throughout your planning process. Most likely, these will come in the form of social media expectations, friends, family (Monster-In-Law anyone?), stressful vendor communication, and compromises made between you and your betrothed. You may be thinking to yourself that this doesn’t even sound enjoyable anymore but don’t fret! We’ve seen it all and we’re here to offer support and guidance with some key mindsets to have while you plan your fabulous day.
When planning a wedding, it’s easy to fall into the Instagram and Pinterest trap. You’ve had all this time to look at weddings online (especially if you’re one of the lucky couples to be engaged in 2019), and suddenly you’re here thinking your wedding requires all the things. It’s here that I will introduce:
Mindset #1: I won’t get all the things
Whaaaat?! You’re telling me I won’t be getting everything I want on my special day? You bet I am. Keep reading, I promise it gets better. Growing up, I had been known to be a bit of a “negative Nancy”. You know the type: have no expectations so you’re never disappointed kind of person. I’ve grown out of that mindset for a reason, and this is NOT what I am advising you do! That being said, we will take some hard-learned lessons from the angsty teenager herself and adapt the “no expectations, no disappointment” approach and make it work for the modern-day engaged couple.
The most important part to remember here is that your wedding is exactly that – YOUR wedding. You and your partner need to take a moment to sit down with each other and decide what’s truly important for you two on your wedding day. It may be great food, amazing videography, unique cocktails, or just having a great party! As long as you identify your priorities early on – and let your wedding coordinators know ☺ – you will ensure you are set up for success.
Once you have decided what is most important for the both of you, from here you can pick and choose what else you would like to include. Knowing that the most important pieces have been thoroughly planned will ease your stress if something else doesn’t go to plan.
Speaking of stress …
Mindset #2: I WILL be stressed at certain times
Stress. You can’t escape it, BUT you can learn to recognize it and ways to manage. I’d be lying if I were to tell you this is going to be a stress-free experience, so I won’t! There will be days that you will be stressed, and there will be days that you feel like you are a wedding superhero. When those stress fueled days eventually creep up, I hope these few pointers will help in navigating your high-pressure moments.
2022 has been an absolutely crazy year for weddings, and 2023 is gearing up to look the same. With that in mind, don’t be surprised if one of your vendors doesn’t respond to your email or text right away. Have an important detail that needs to be confirmed with your florist? Reach out to them with plenty of time for a response. Vendors will sometimes take longer to respond than normal, especially mid-wedding season, and that’s normal.
What’s talk about stress if it didn’t mention money? The two go hand-in-hand. When planning a wedding, the most important pointers I can provide about money and stress are: things are expensive, and you get what you pay for. Luckily for you, we’ve got a blog post that discusses all the ways to reduce your wedding budget. While finding ways to save on your wedding, remember your non-negotiables! If your priority is an amazing DJ, the best option may not be the cheap DJ with zero reviews that you found on Facebook. If it seems too go to be true, it just might be.
The most important pointer I can provide about managing stress is having a proper support system and plan in place. Prioritizing yourself and your health is just as important as finalizing your seating chart. Make time for date night and give yourself those extra minutes in the morning and night to practice self-care. At the end of the day, it’s a long and happy marriage you’re truly celebrating.
Mindset #3: Remember the big picture
A wedding is one day, but your marriage follows everything after. Remember what TRULY matters. I’ll give you a hint, it’s not that one pesky napkin that just won’t stay folded in place. The love between you and your person is what got you here, and let’s not forget it! Keep the romance alive in your relationship while you’re planning. Cook your favourite meals, have those movie nights, and remember why you fell in love. While your napkins may not fold like you wished, the party will go on and you and your guests are still going to make the best of your wedding.
Planning a wedding is no simple task, and I’m proud of you for making it this far. Falling in love truly was the easy part, and don’t forget it! Make time for yourselves - not only to discuss your non-negotiables but to lean on and support each other. Remember that the UY team is here for you and we have seen it all. With these helpful mindsets provided to you the only answers you should be providing on the day-of are “I do” and “Yes, I would like another glass”. Give yourself TIME, give yourself GRACE, and don’t procrastinate! … No seriously, don’t.
